Dear Delilah #3

Dear Delilah,

I think my boyfriend is hiding something from me. I’ve caught him looking suspicious around me multiple times now and I need to figure out what he’s up to. Any advice?

Dear reader,

It’s impossible to be sure of the truth of the situation. At first, it may seem reasonable to simply ask your boyfriend what is going on, but this is a HUGE MISTAKE. Asking questions is a dangerous endeavor, and it is preferable to simply tap his phone and bug his house. If these measures prove fruitless, hiring someone trained in administering waterboarding is always an option.

If these techniques fail to turn up any information, the only remaining option is to simply weep.

Delilah

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Michael Tessene

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