What NOT to Get Your Partner for Valentine’s Day

Wondering what to get the one you love for Valentine’s Day? Well, maybe this article can help you decide what not to get them…and save the screaming, break-ups, and embarrassment for another year.

1. The first thing you should not get your partner is: YOUR favorite band’s CD. This is first and foremost kind of selfish and this is probably one of those gifts your partner may not greatly appreciate. Now, unless you know for a fact that you and your partner show the same interest of liking for this band, I would not intend to buy it for your partner. Remember- DON’T BE SELFISH.

2. The second gift is probably the cheesiest thing you could give to your partner, and this is something you SHOULD NOT DO! Don’t think about picking up the phone and dialing a singing telegram to show up at her door at the time she leaves or goes wherever. No one I know that has a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, or husband would want to open the door while going to catch a bus or go to work, and find a stranger in a giant heart costume who starts singing….that’s just creepy. If you can afford a singing telegram, the most you can do is cancel that and buy some flowers and a box of chocolates. If your going to be cheap, at least be classy.

3. The third gift to stay away from is getting a tattoo in honor of your partner. It destroys your body, and mostly freaks the other person out. Do NOT get your spouse’s name tattooed on any part of your body, even if it is temporary. This is a little creepy even if your married because you can get a divorce…and if you’re only dating, then he or she is definitely going to leave you. The chance is if your in high school you’re probably not going be together forever and your partner may not feel the same way you do about the phrase “I Love You.” Then if your partner breaks up with you, you’re stuck with a name signifying heart-break on a part of your body.

4. The fourth gift is something you may completely disagree with me on…but just hear me out. No one wants a Snuggie (but if they do go ahead and get it for them). Why call it a Snuggie if you can’t really even hold your partner without getting attacked by the itchiness of this huge blanket sweater? The sleeves are so long that if you try to wrap your arms around the other person, you hit them in the face! It doesn’t matter what color you choose, how are you going to snuggle with this ugly sweater blanket on?

5. If you really go for some one, don’t just send them a bouquet of roses with an “I Love You” tag on the stem; actually do something with them. Do not send them anything virtually, it doesn’t matter what it is or what it has on it, that is just being lazy. The least you can do is take her/him out to dinner and pay the tab. Sending an e-card is cheap, lazy, and most of all a great way to make you look like a jerk.

6. This one’s for the guys: if your girlfriend is hinting she wants diamonds or you know your wife’s favorite diamond necklace broke, the best thing to do is go out to Kay’s and get her a new necklace, ring, etc.! But don’t be the cheapest guy on the planet and go for the diamond ring key-chain- it is not the next best thing to a diamond ring. If you don’t have the money right now, get her something else and save up for the necklace or diamond ring for her birthday. Take your time and choose something nice.

7. Maybe your partner thinks it would be adorable to dress alike on Valentine’s Day? If you want to walk into school in a shirt that reads “I Love You Mary” while she walks into her wearing a matching shirt that reads “I Love You Joe”, go ahead. But this maybe be a little overkill on the “I Love You” theme of Valentine’s Day. No one I know thinks confessing love through shirts is romantic, cool, or anything but funny. Don’t embarrass each other.

8. Don’t get your partner a Wii Fit! You are basically calling them fat by giving them a game to help with weight loss. Don’t get dumped over a WII FIT!

9. No one wants everyone to know your personal appreciation for the one you love, so don’t rent out a billboard and have them paint “I Love You Molly!” on it. I’m pretty sure Molly would not want the whole neighborhood to know you love her so much. Save your partner the embarrassment by doing something more low-key.

10. This is something again for the guys: don’t’ get her a ring in a fancy ring box (if it’s not an engagement ring) because you’ll regret it. Your girlfriend will open the box looking for a wedding ring, and find what she isn’t looking for. That’s a good way to make your girl cry on Valentine’s Day.

In a very plain conclusion, these gifts are cheap or stupid and you don’t want to present them with your own hands to the one you care for. Just go to dinner or do something you both enjoy.